If you don’t understand…ask Alex.
Let me begin in 1979
When President Jimmy Carter was doing just fine
When along came a one Alexander Jones
When Mike and Johann didn’t have many loans
So let’s start with a Happy Birthday to the old young at heart
SO many decades where to start?
Atleast we can say,
you’re still not an old fart!
Countless experiences we should write in a book
Into his life let’s have a look
lifelong efforts to describe his love in prose
flowers and sunsets were an inadequate mode
when it came to his wife out these swelling words rose
“Oh Miranda, my love you’re more beautiful than the ROAD!”
This just sets her heart assail
as she says “Oh Aghhlll! “
“For I too have written something for you!”
only one line am i allowed to share,
so buckle up, sit back in your chair
its true i am your wife, beautiful, fair and spunky
but I have to confess,
“I like em chunky, chunky”
A Hiker by nature, its the Jones’ way
Strap a cooler To your back pack
Make it a day
Fill it with food
Eggs and cheese
enough protein for two 3rd world countries!
You know you want to sleep in a shower bag
And no, that rubber sock is not a rag!
your steak candles make you feel like more of a man?
Think of another invention, oh He can!
Back in the day of jean shorts and a walkman
Those were the days Al couldn’t get a tan (oh wait he still can’t)
While floating down the river, with such ease
Due to his belly which we all love to tease.
Nearby Justin with no belly to help him float
Almost sunk until he saw a buoyant life boat
As Justin yells “Al give me your chubby belly!”
“And keep your feet away cuz I know they are smelly!”
Never ending old school ways
filled with stories that never cease to amaze
There was a time when smelling clean was best
So Al put that air freshner right to the test
a rub in each arm pit, a nice clean smell
then a burning feeling to rival the fires of hell.
To the nurse he ran, armpits aflame
another great story to add to his fame.
How bout the time with the EZ Pass toll
And al asked if he could go thru at 50 or so?
Multiple fast trips, blazing the trail
how many tickets did he get in the mail?
Forgive me if you think I am going to slow
that’s what al thought of our whirlpool you know
In that quiet voice only the closest could hear
“Faster You Maggots” was his quiet jeer
Al sometimes thinks his words can’t be heard
But we heard you that day with your little box of nerds
“i love these!!”
as always quickly followed with “get to da chopper”
and another famous quote “you moppin’ mopper”
Sean Connery and Arnold, he loves to quote
And he’s the best at it – we took a vote!
A 4lb steak and playing with a leach
falling off the pier while collecting shells at the beach
“i love that happy little head” and
“get yur butt of bed”
Al, your the best, so this poem we read.
So on you birthday relax, cuddle with your wife and get cozy,
Forget all about those times in your 30 years when you were feelin kinda woozy.
sit back, Kick back, hang out with your 2 faithful cainines that have tails that always wag
Shun from your mind that time you had to say… Ummm where’s that barf bag.
We wish you happy birthday
and keep the stories coming
Your only turning 30
so don’t be bumming
