Tommy looked out the window of the space ship. The earth was like a huge, moldy blueberry, with all the green and blue. He smiled brightly as he took in the vastness of space. “I’m so happy to be visiting the sun Mr. Astronaut.”
“Beep.” Said Mr. Astronaut.
“I agree, it is a nice day today. How long until we are there Mr. Computer?”
“ETA 33 years until Tommy is burnt to a crisp and out of our lives forever.”
“Oh gee! Only 33 more years! I think I’ll take a nap and when I get up maybe we’ll be there.”
“We can only hope Tommy, that will make this long ride infinitely more enjoyable not having to see your ugly mug.”
“Good night Mr. Computer, I love you too.”
“I hope you choke on your own tongue Tommy.”
So Tommy went into his chamber, still smiling and humming.
“Gee, 33 years and I’ll be in the Sun. Mommy said it’d be fun there and all the little forest animals and I will be happy to play with me there. I could sure use some hot chocolate before I go to bed. Mr. Food-O-Matic, can I please have some Hot Chocolate?”
“Coming right up Tommy, enjoy!”, said Mr. Food-O-Matic.
It was really good hot chocolate once Tommy picked out the razor blades and thumbtacks. “Gee thanks, Mr. Food-O-Matic, you’re the best.”
“Note to self, create more antifreeze to put in Tommy’s hot chocolate.”
“Is that to keep my Hot Chocolate warm, Mr. Food-O-Matic?”
“Sure. If that shuts you up.”
After his Hot Chocolate Tommy yawned and laid down in his bed and fell asleep. He dreamed of dancing on the Sun with Mr. Squirrel, and Mr. Macaw, and Mr. Wolf, and Mr. Turtle, and Mr. Food-O-Matic. Singing and dancing in the forests and ponds on the far side of the sun where Mommy said there was no fire and finally never trouble her again. Tommy sat up and said to himself, “Gee…” And ducked as a steak knife flew out of the Food-O-Matic and embedded itself in Tommy’s headboard.
“Keep up the Gee Tommy, see how far you get!” Yelled Mr. Food-O-Matic.
“Nice shot, Mr. Food-O-Matic! Share and Enjoy!”
“How long now, Mr. Computer?”
“Tommy, you slept for 20 minutes, it’s still 33 years. Now leave me alone, you don’t need to talk to me for the rest of the trip.”
“Oh, you’d miss me Mr. Computer.”
“Yea Tommy, like a Trojan virus in my upper memory.”
“Ha ha Mr. Computer, I love you.”
“Get lost Tommy, isn’t there anywhere you could be right now?”
And as a matter of fact, there was! Tommy went and visited the storage hangar, where cardboard trees and grass and lakes had been set up to make Tommy feel at home.
“Hello, Mr. Cardboard Squirrel! Looking good today!”
The Cardboard Squirrel stared at him malevolently.
“Thanks, Mr. Cardboard Squirrel, I do feel good. Mr. Cardboard Macaw, how are you today?”
A dollop of white cardboard landed on Tommy’s forehead.
“Oh ho ho ho, Mr. Cardboard Macaw, you’re funny. Where’s Mr. Cardboard Turtle?”
Propped up against a cardboard tree was Mr. Cardboard Turtle.
“Mr. Cardboard Turtle, would you like some cardboard fish for lunch?”
The tree that Mr. Cardboard Turtle was leaning against fell over and hit Tommy in the top of the head. A tiny cardboard grin crossed Mr. Cardboard Turtle’s face.
“Owie, now my head is sad. I’m going back to my bed.”
Tommy walked to his bed and laid down again and fell right asleep.
When Tommy woke up it was considerably brighter in the shuttle.
“Mr. Computer are we close now?”
“Buggerit all kid, you slept for a day, it’s still 33 years! Ask me again and I’m shutting off your oxygen.”
“Gee,” A thud sounded behind Tommy and the end of a kabob skewer stuck through the wall, “I’m so excited I can’t wait much longer. Mr. Astronaut, can you turn the speed to run. I always go faster when I run.”
“Beep.”
“Ok, thanks. Maybe that’ll get us there faster.”
“Beep.”
“What are you going to do at the Sun, Mr. Astronaut.”
“BEEP”
“I hope you can do that there.”
Tommy spent the rest of the day swimming in the cardboard lake with the cardboard fishes. Mr. Cardboard Turtle only bit him four times too. All in all, it was a good day for Tommy. That night, after a nice meal of chicken noodle soup that only had 3 or 4 chunks of jagged metal, Tommy watched out the window at space. He missed his mom and her hot chocolate. He started to feel sad.
“I know what’ll cheer me up!”
“I’m not playing with you Tommy.” Said Mr. Computer.
“Beep.” said Mr. Astronaut.
A quivering spork in the back of his seat was the only answer he got from Mr. Food-O-Matic.
“I’m going outside for a while.” Said Tommy.
As he slipped into his suit, he heard everyone cheering and laughing. A champagne cork flew past his head from where Mr. Food-O-Matic was.”All my friends are so nice, I wish they could come out and play with me.”
The airlock door opened and Tommy went outside, walking along the spaceship to a lawn chair that was bolted to the top.
“What a nice day. Mr. Sun sure is bright out here. I can’t wait to see him close up.”
“Tommy, you know when you get there it’s going to burn you horribly, but quickly, right?” said Mr. Alien.
“Mr. Alien! I missed you!”
Mr. Alien pulled out the metal rod that he always carried with him. “Time to play What Did Tommy eat today.”
“Oh gee!”, a light plink from underneath him sounded, “That’s a fun game!”
“You sicken me Tommy, I’m outta here. If the rest of you people are like this, taking over your planet will be cake.”
“Can I have some cake too Mr. Alien”
“Xarquan’s Singing Fish.” and Mr. Alien took off .
Tommy waved and smiled. “Mr. Alien is nice. Time to eat some dinner.”
So Tommy went back inside and took off his suit. He pulled a set of barbeque tongs from the ceiling and shook his head laughing, “Oh, that Mr. Food-O-Matic.”
“I want something different Mr. Food-O-Matic. How about cheerios and sausages.”
A loud Ding! sounded when Mr. Food-O-Matic was done. A steaming bowl of sausages and cheerios came out. Milk poured in and a spoon popped out and bounced off Tommy’s forehead. Smiling to himself and rubbing his forehead , Tommy ate his dinner, picking out the broken glass from the sausages.
“Curse it!” Said Mr. Food-O-Matic.
“Mr Computer, do you have anything that will make me sleep longer? So when i wake up, we’ll almost be there.”
“I could get Mr. Astronaut to hit you upside the head with his fist. That’ll knock you out for a while.”
Everything went suddenly white and Tommy, smiling again, fell asleep.
Time passed……
and passed some more……
and passed even longer……
“Good morning Mr. Computer! How much longer today?”
“Tommy, this is the 12044th time you’ve asked me since we left. Do the math you little freak.”
“Ok, ummm 33 years times, how many days in a year Mr. Astronaut?”
“Beep.”
“Thanks, so 33 years times 365, is uh, um, uhhh, ummm…”
“12045 idiot.”
“Thanks Mr. Computer! That means only one more day and we’ll be there!”
“Thank the stars for that, tomorrow you’ll be out of my misery!”
“I’m going to go outside and watch it!”
“Wow, so we’ll be free even earlier. Go for it.”
Outside, Tommy sat in his lawnchair watching their approach to the sun.
“Sure is bright out here. Kinda warm too. I think I’ll go to the beach once I land.”
“Tommy, tomorrow is your last day in the universe. Me and the guys inside are going to party it up.”
“Oh gee a party!” Clink. Clink. Clink. Clank. CLank, CLANNNGGGG!
“Peace out Tommy, won’t be seeing you tomorrow.”
“Bye Mr. Alien!”
Back inside, Tommy was so excited he didn’t notice the cutlery, and a big deer antler sticking in the ceiling.
“I can’t even sleep Mr. Computer and Mr. Astronaut, I’m too excited!”
“Beep.”
That night, Tommy ate a big dinner that may or may not have had steel wool. He laid in his bed and looked out the window, the spaceship had a neat orange glow to it now. “A couple more hours and I’ll be there. I need a good night’s sleep so I can play tomorrow!” So he fell asleep, dreaming of singing and dancing on the sun.
The next day he woke up to brightness and he was sweating a bit.
“Are we there Mr. Astronaut?”
“Beep.”
Tommy put on his spacesuit after getting a popsicle from Mr. Food-O-Matic. He walked outside and stepped onto the ground.
“Sure is bright here. Hot too. I don’t see any forest animals or lakes or trees though. Maybe I need to walk to them over that hill there.”
And sure enough, over the hill was a big green valley with a river running right down the middle of it to a big lake.
Smiling, he set off to his next big adventure.
